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found that--yes, I knew it! They were just making a movie, and the proceeds were all going to charity! Let's see...I looked it up quickly in my encyclopedic multi-function journal, and saw that the Cougars' chosen charity was none other than...
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... Save Relatives From Being Taken! Well, what do you know? Pity I didn't know about that charity before ...
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My nephew was kidnapped! Hm...I wondered if they might have any useful information! I decided to check in at the Cougars' headquarters.
Should I ask MacGyver to go with me? Perhaps...
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not. I think I'll be better able to stay focused without him. I make a beeline for HQ with my pockets clacking and clonking with all my assorted tools and detritus I've picked up along the way. I shove the door open, the bell rings and from behind the front desk
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A formidable, blue-haired old lady pins me with an icy glare. "Yes?"
she says, "How may I help you? Do you care to make a donation?"
"N-not really," I stutter, though she really makes me want to give her something; maybe she'd like some candy. "I was just wondering if you might have any information on...
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what to do when said relative has already been taken? You see my nephew has been taken and I don't know how to begin to get him back. I've been collecting all these tools, and people keep sending me to do chores for them, and still I'm no closer to finding him! What can I do?" The blue rinsed lady removed her glasses and polished them on her sleeve. She tilted her head and pondered me for a moment. "Well, " she said. "If I were you I'd
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consult the Quaint Little Man! He knows an awful lot about this sort of thing, and is one of our most generous donors." She sniffed snootily.
"In fact," she continued imperiously, "if you'd talked with him in the first place, instead of running to that slutty mermaid, you could have saved yourself a lot of trouble!" Her evil grin told me she knew more about my recent activities than I would have preferred.
"Well, thank you, ma'am," I said humbly. "I think your advice is exactly what I...
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need, but feel like ignoring. Besides you seem like a malicious old bat." I add under my breath. Breezily I thank her and make my way quickly out the door. What to do, what to do? On impulse I decide to
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go back to the chocolate factory and find MacGyver. I found him in the tasting room; he had been promoted, and was obviously taking his job very seriously. He seemed to have put on a little weight, but still looked yummy to me. I told him my entire, convoluted story, from the crowbar to the blue-haired lady. "So what do you think I should do?" I asked plaintively. He swallowed the caramel-fudge truffle he was sampling. "Well," he said, "I think the best thing would be to...
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forget about me, I've found my calling. You should go back to the beginning and start again, but this time choose the icy path. I know you'll find what you need." He stood and gave me a hug. As I turned to leave he said, "Here you'll need this." And handed me a