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... giant, multi-coloured lollipop! How had I not noticed that neon yellow, orange, purple, green, blue and chartreuse lollipop on the horizon earlier? Oh no, it's getting bigger and bigger! Should I run? Hide? Well, silly billy, you want to hide back in the igloo with the giant marshmallow man? Methinks not! Okay, okay, let's think here... Nope, I got nothin'. Oh no! Just when I thought that nothing could get worse ...
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As it gets closer, I see that the giant lollipop is actually the mast on a huge sailing ship! To my horror, it resolves itself into my worst nightmare, complete with a sickeningly cute Shirley Temple, singing "On the Good Ship Lollipop!" Aarrgghh! The horror! Oh no! It's throwing me a lifeline! It wants to rescue me! Shall I...
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ROFLMAO
Oh, sandhan, that's brilliant! Inspired! Shirley Temple singing "On the Good Ship Lollipop" with a huge neon-coloured lollipop? LOL! Perfect! Every time I read it I laugh. But how on earth am I supposed to follow on from that? All I can do is try my best to emulate, in my own small way, your brilliance.
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... grab hold of the licorice rope Shirley's dangling down to me whilst urging me to hurry up and climb up? Oh, it looks yummy, irresistable. Maybe I could just eat a little bit... So, I grab hold of the licorice and start licking and nibbling on the rope. But now I notice an evil laugh coming from above me and look up and see Shirley Temple morphing into ... the killer koala! I quickly glance down, ready to let go, but I'm too high up! When did that happen? I don't want to ...
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Die in an alien wasteland! Suddenly, I realize the killer koala is not real. It's the old "hallucinogen in the licorice rope" trick! Quickly, I spit out the licorice--good thing I filled up on cookies--and climb up onto the ship, almost slipping on the deck's shiny, candy coating. Sure enough, the koala is gone, but in its place is something worse: a giant Shirley Temple, complete with vile corkscrew curls and evil dimples, singing at the top of her lungs! I cover my ears, but...
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it's useless, her voice was so loud I felt as if my eardrums were about to burst. AAAaaaaahhhhh...I couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly, I spotted something in the front of the ship. Holy cow!! a wormhole just appeared out of nowhere....it was swirling round and round, all sparkly, and then a strange thing happened....a guy stepped out of it, running straight towards me.....Oh great, I thought, help on the way ...but No, right behind him was a velociraptor and ......
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By some miracle, or quirk of fate, or whatever, the velociraptor went straight for the yowling Shirley Temple, and silenced her with a snap of its vicious jaws! Thinking fast, I grabbed the guy, whoever he was--actually, he was kind of cute--and leaped with him into the wormhole! Whatever was in there couldn't be worse than what we'd left--could it? Imagine my amazement when...
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I found myself swimming and swirling around in a big, warm vat of melted chocolate. Where on earth was I? Could it be?? Absolutely not!! And then I realized I was in a vat full of chocolate in the most amazing place on earth ~ Charlie's Chocolate Factory. All around me were
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Oompa Loompas, marching and singing. Then, just as I was about to sink into oblivion--but what a way to go! A strident voice shouted "Hey!" It was Willy Wonka, looking furious. "Get out of there! You're contaminating the product!" And he sent a team of Oompa Loompas
to pull us out. My companion appeared not quite as cute now, but even more delicious! Oh my, I had heard that chocolate can have a stimulating effect. Right now, I just wanted to...
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thrown on a bib, grab a spoon and