I just went in to Mum and she's really sick today ... nauseous, no breath, no energy ... and after I helped her back to bed she fell on the bed, rolled into a ball, covered her eyes, and burst into tears.  And my mum NEVER cries!

After waking my sister up to go to her while I got the morphine, getting her settled, giving her the morphine, turning the fan on her face, she's feeling a bit better but doesn't want a shower and doesn't want to get up today.  Thank heavens the doc's due this afternoon.


 

{{{ stusue & Mum }}}  I am so sorry.  I'm sure it's hard for you (I went through much the same with my mother) but it has to -- some place deep down -- make you feel good knowing you are here for her.  I'm sure she's glad you're there too.  I'm continuing to pray for all of you.

Thanks so much Wendy, Lily and Tee!    And yes, I realise how lucky I am to have this special time with Mum.  I just wish with all my heart that Mum didn't have to go through this.

The doc came and checked Mum out, then Mum rang her radiotherapy doctor and discussed things with her and she thinks it may be cancer and not fluid that's causing Mum's breathlessness.  If it is there's nothing much anyone can do except morphine, etc, to make her comfortable.  Which would mean that the end will be a lot sooner than anyone had anticipated even a few days ago. 

So now the doc's trying to organise for Mum to go into hospital to have a scan to see what's going on.  We're hoping it's fluid as that could possibly be drained.  But I'm not going to consider the worst possible scenario until I know for sure. 

Either way, it looks like the really scary bit is about to start and I just hope I can be there for Mum and give her exactly what medication - and emotional support - she needs as soon as she needs it so that she doesn't suffer too much.  I'm terrified.  I can't even begin to imagine what Mum's going through.

All this is certainly not helping with my CFS, which is already pretty bad.  I'm just praying my health, as well as my courage, hold up for as long as they need to.


 

Your quote rings so true, Stusue, and you've been doing such important things every day.  Give Mum my love.

stusue -- I'm praying for you and your mother.  You've done a beautiful job so far and I'm sure that you can continue.  I'm sure you are terrified and al of this isn;t helping your CFS.  

Praying that the breathlessness is fluid.  If not, would it be possible to get someone in at night so you could sleep?  A friend kept her DH home  when he was diagnosed with ALS.  Towards the end she had someone at night to help him.  She got woken up if he needed pain meds (she;s an RN) but she got much needed sleep.  {{{ }}}  <---big, gentle, caring hugs for you both.