... giant, multi-coloured lollipop!  How had I not noticed that neon yellow, orange, purple, green, blue and chartreuse lollipop on the horizon earlier?  Oh no, it's getting bigger and bigger!    Should I run?  Hide?  Well, silly billy, you want to hide back in the igloo with the giant marshmallow man?  Methinks not!    Okay, okay, let's think here...  Nope, I got nothin'.    Oh no!  Just when I thought that nothing could get worse ...

ROFLMAO

Oh, sandhan, that's brilliant!  Inspired!  Shirley Temple singing "On the Good Ship Lollipop" with a huge neon-coloured lollipop?  LOL!  Perfect!  Every time I read it I laugh.  But how on earth am I supposed to follow on from that?    All I can do is try my best to emulate, in my own small way, your brilliance. 

Die in an alien wasteland!  Suddenly,  I realize the killer koala is not real. It's the old  "hallucinogen in the licorice rope"  trick!  Quickly,  I spit out the licorice--good thing I filled up on cookies--and climb up onto the ship,  almost slipping on the deck's shiny,  candy coating.  Sure enough,  the koala is gone,  but in its place is something worse:  a giant Shirley Temple,  complete with vile corkscrew curls and evil dimples,  singing at the top of her lungs!  I cover my ears,  but...

By some miracle,  or quirk of fate,  or whatever,  the velociraptor went straight for the yowling Shirley Temple,  and silenced her with a snap of its vicious jaws!  Thinking fast,  I grabbed the guy,  whoever he was--actually,  he was kind of cute--and leaped with him into the wormhole!  Whatever was in there couldn't be worse than what we'd left--could it?  Imagine my amazement when...

Oompa Loompas,  marching and singing.  Then,  just as I was about to sink into oblivion--but what a way to go!  A strident voice shouted  "Hey!"  It was Willy Wonka,  looking furious.  "Get out of there!  You're contaminating the product!"  And he sent a team of Oompa Loompas
to pull us out.  My companion appeared not quite as cute now,  but even more delicious!  Oh my,  I had heard that chocolate can have a stimulating effect.  Right now,  I just wanted to...