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May 14, 2017 4:00 pm  #981


Re: The Chat Lounge

I'd love to declutter like that. But everything in the house has to be considered and every paper has to be carefully read. And most that can be discarded have to be shredded first.  I've still got 7+ months to get it done or at least have a good bit done.

 

May 14, 2017 5:58 pm  #982


Re: The Chat Lounge

How many days are you planning on or do you just keep going until you feel you're done?

I just finished the redo of my master bed and en suite.  I love it!  I keep walking by and looking at it.  It so nice to be back in it. I did do some decluttering as I went emptying drawers but I could do more.

I should mention the declutter challenge to my mom. She is having a bit of a hard time getting motivated and dealing with all the stuff of my dads.  She told me today that the bank cut her credit line down by more than half as my dad died.  Their mortgage free house is the collateral nothing changed there, they have no idea what her income will be and there is nothing owed on it.  Strange.  She also said to me that she was feeling abandoned, said the Alzheimer's group said it happens.  I wasn't sure at first what she meant but she says you've got all this support, dad died and then poof it's all gone. Says my brother never calls, my sister doesn't either, but that has always been the case.  I still call her almost every day. But I do feel bad for her, she went from purpose in her days to none.

Last edited by oscar66 (May 14, 2017 6:00 pm)


"There is no more perfect stillness than the solitude in the heart of a snowstorm." Diana Gabaldon
 

May 15, 2017 7:35 am  #983


Re: The Chat Lounge

I have no idea how long this will take.  I'm going to keep adding an item until I reach 30.  Take the 31st off, and then June 1 start again at 1.  Keep going until there's a place for everything that's left and everything is in their place.  You can't organize clutter.  All you do is just shuffle it around as you try to find what you're looking for.

I've decluttered my parent's stuff, my mother-in-law's stuff, and now my father-in-law's stuff.  While doing that, I've learned things about them that I'd be happier not knowing, things I really didn't need to know. I'm not putting my heirs through what I've gone through.

I haven't even started on my excess paper clutter.  Still dealing with the papers my father-in-law kept.  Tax returns going back to 1950, I kid you not.

I haven't even begun on my excess


For every minute you are angry, you lose sixity seconds of happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
 

May 15, 2017 8:59 am  #984


Re: The Chat Lounge

Oscar...Maybe your mom could find a grief support group in her area.

Tirama...With all the experience you are getting decluttering, you'll be able to open up your own decluttering consultants workshop when you are done.  I have trouble getting rid of tax returns, myself.  Mine go back to my first job from the eighties. 

I have a yard sale each year to keep the clutter down and I take things to the consignment shop.  Books I put in those free library boxes.  Clothes get donated.  I also like to go to yard sales to find neat stuff for me and the house and I also like bargains, so maybe in the end it just comes out as a draw. 


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May 15, 2017 10:31 pm  #985


Re: The Chat Lounge

oscar -- Sorry about your mother feeling abandoned. Also sorry about the bank. Now your mother has all this time on her hands. I used to do volunteer in-home respite with Alzheimer's patients so the caregiver could get out for a while. When "my" last patient died, his wife would call me quite a bit, ask me over to see her apartment, bake things for me. She had nothing to do anymore. It took me a while to gently detach. sunshinej has a good idea.

WOW Tirama! That's one heck of a lot of decluttering!  sunshinej's right -- you could probably do that professionally.

sunshinej -- What can't get recycled gets donated, or thrown out if it's marginal. I don't have yard sales and I don't go to them anymore.  I have a lot of "stuff" (more than I should).  The sticking point for me is all the paper that comes into the house. And quite a bit of it has to be kept for several years.

 

May 16, 2017 10:19 am  #986


Re: The Chat Lounge

I did get paid once for helping somebody declutter.  Unfortunately, this woman had psychological issues that she never got help for, and when she died, her home was filled to over-flowing again.

There can be a lot of baggage attached to clutter.  For example, a person could regard getting rid of clothes that are too small as admitting that they will never lose weight.  Getting rid of unfinished craft projects can cause a person t feel like a failure because they started something they couldn't finish.  Disposing of a deceased person's belonging is accepting that they really are gone.

When you declutter, I think it's important not to try and do it all at once.  Start small.  If you're decluttering the kitchen, do it one drawer or cabinet at a time.  Do NOT empty all your cabinets at once, you will just be overwhelmed with the amount of stuff.  And don't make it a full-time job unless for some reason you have a deadline as to when you have to be done. Work for a bit, take a break, repeat.  When you find that you're having trouble making decisions on what to do with stuff, it's time to quit for the day.

I found it easiest to go through things and concentrate on finding the obvious garbage and get rid of it.  While doing this, you will also find items that are obvious keepers. There will be stuff that you just can't make a decision on the first time you look at it.  That's okay, put it aside.  When you finish making your first pass through everything and start going through things the second time, you'll be amazed at how much stuff you will be shaking your head at and wondering why you didn't throw it out sooner.

It can be very liberating getting rid of your clutter. 



 


For every minute you are angry, you lose sixity seconds of happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
 

May 16, 2017 3:14 pm  #987


Re: The Chat Lounge

Great advice Tirama!  One of my problems is that I'm, well, lazy! And it doesn't help that I live alone.   One thing I KNOW I should get rid of is my "going away" suit from my wedding. I can still wear it, but it is very, very out of style. I got married in 1972. 

 

May 17, 2017 4:56 am  #988


Re: The Chat Lounge

Oscar ... so sorry to hear your mum's having a tough time coping.  I can totally understand it.  I've never thought about how all the support suddenly leaves once a loved one has gone but it makes sense.  But that's when someone needs support the most.  And I'm sure it's hard for you being so far away from her.  But I can't understand the bank cutting her credit line down by half! 

Tirama ... I sure wish you were here to declutter my house!  I'd pay you whatever you wanted!  I have boxes from 2 containers that I've had sent from Australia and my house ... attic, cellar, plus quite a few on the ground and first floors ... is full of boxes that I just haven't been able to unpack due to my health.  The spirit is so willing but the flesh is, unfortunately, so weak.  Oh well, maybe one day I'll feel well enough to start tackling it again ... or maybe I'll wake up one morning and a whole lot of elves will have done it for me!  LOL.  Well, a girl can dream, can't she????

And Tirama, I'm sorry you've found out things you'd rather not have known.  What a tough job you've had to do several times now.  Fortunately for us, my mum had time to go through all her stuff and she threw so much out!  She was always a super organised person but, knowing she wouldn't need anything where she was going, got rid of everything she didn't need to keep, just leaving those things she still wanted or needed around her.  She also got everything she needed to sorted out, even organising and paying for her funeral, so we were super lucky.

Lily ... maybe getting rid of your going away suit would be a place to start.  To clean my house ready for my sis and BIL, I just put a whole heap of clothes I have to sort out and work out which to keep and which ones to recycle ... although I've just found out that they don't actually recycle clothing for people, but rather use all the clothes put in the bins to make felt that they use to put in cars, in the doors, in the seats, etc, so I'm not so thrilled about recycling my clothes now as a lot of them are really good clothes ... anyway, I just put a whole lot in boxes that I'll get around to looking at when I feel up to it.  Just some more boxes.  LOL.

And it's finally warmed up here!!!!!!!!  

It only took until the last few weeks of spring for the warmth and sunshine ... well, a little ... to arrive!  We also had snow a few weeks ago (just a little, not enough to stay on the ground) and I still had the heating on and was still wearing all my winter woollies but now I've packed all that away and I have the fan on right now.  It's not so hot but it's SO humid!  The whole north of Germany where I am is on marshland so it's always humid but we've also had quite a bit of rain so it's really bad.  But at least I no longer have to get all rugged up like I was just a couple of weeks ago!  Freedom!!!!


 


.
What you're doing today is important
because you're exchanging a day of your life for it.
 

May 17, 2017 3:37 pm  #989


Re: The Chat Lounge

stusue -- Can you give those clothes directly to a charity? We have one that accepts business attire so that people will look good at an interview and, hopefully, the beginning of their job. Another accepts prom dresses/formal gowns so that girls who can't afford to buy a gown and accessories  can feel good about prom.  And maybe they'd even pick them up.

I've been wearing my winter things too. Every time I think I can put them away it gets cold again.

I am slowly getting rid of the clutter. I just used the suit as an example of what could/should go.

 

May 24, 2017 9:31 am  #990


Re: The Chat Lounge

Does anyone green clean?  Meaning using baking soda, vinegar and what not to clean their house.  How is working for you?  Is it better or not as good as commercial products? 


i ♥ nirvana
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